So I thought I’d start this new and invigorated Guru Nickin with my own basic understanding of goal setting & accomplishing, and I figured if it could help anyone else then all the better.

 

One of the main things I noticed whilst I took my break was the basic and small scale things I would have to do in order for me  to be able to tackle the time I had from the moment I woke up, to when my head hit the pillow later that night. From easy household chores and practices, to diet and exercise and even the mindset I had for the day were all key when trying to get on the better side of the next 24 hours. So I decided to narrow it down to four main points that I considered to be the most important.

 

First I chose to wake up relatively early. I, personally, love my sleep, it’s one of my favourite things to do, but the early part of the day, between sunrise and around midday is probably the most productive period for my mind. So to engage myself and the productivity around that time I have to take full advantage of that sweet period of day. If I have a late night, sleeping at around 12-1 on a weekday, I choose to set my alarm to around 7:30-8AM. Now typically I aim for about 7-8 hours of sleep, the normal amount everyone should be getting. If it’s a normal working day in which I get to bed at around 10-11, waking up at 6-7am is ideal. I know it sounds terrible but utilising as much daylight and time as I could’ve, worked out better for me in the long run so I tried to make a habit out of it.  Now for me and for most other creative people, my mind runs crazy late at night, and sometimes during the night at odd times, so in the past I avoided sleeping early and subsequently woke up later. However, I soon found out that just because you can’t be creative in the morning, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t use that time to do anything else.

 

Recently I listened to a Podcast which recounted the journey of UFC Featherweight fighter Cristane ‘Cyborg’ Justino. She was the former Featherweight Champion in Invicta, a subsidiary of the UFC and on the podcast, Her boyfriend and former MMA fighter, Ray Elbe, talks about her routine. He says that the reason why he was never champion and that Cyborg was, was because of her commitment and work ethic. Both of which were exemplified by the fact that she would get up super duper early just to get a jump start on her day. A 5am wake up, followed by a run and then settling back home for a cup of  coffee and then continue with her training and work for the rest of the day…

So, you’re probably ask why I bring this up… Well being creative, working and being productive are not always the same thing. So if you can’t be creative  then it is important to engage your body and mind in other ways. Do a crossword, get  some writing done, read a book or the newspaper, or even squeeze a workout in.

I found that doing any of these things expanded my thought process for the day and also taught me new things about myself.

 

The second point was to make sure my diet consisted of good food that met all my basic requirements. This goes hand in hand with any type of exercise I did throughout the day. Typically,  I like to enjoy my meals, especially junk like maccas  burgers and fries which are always at the top of my list. Of course I couldn’t eat like that all the time or I’d get fat, so I tried to work around what I could and couldn’t eat.

As a result, I put effort into making my own food, purely because it gave me something more to do and to focus on. Meal prep is always a great idea, especially if you only have a set amount of time throughout the day and you’re far too busy to make all your meals as you need them. Sticking to the basics  was my general rule so having a good source of protein and a generous helping of vegetables with some carbs for energy was  staple.  I try not to eat out, but if I have no choice or I feel like treating myself, I steer clear of anything that might cause me to heavily drop in energy throughout the day, so I avoided things like soft drinks and intensely sugar rich foods and tried to go for more organic and fresh foods that kept my energy levels high.

 

The third aspect I brought into my lifestyle was choosing to keep my mental juices flowing towards the latter end of the day.  Coming back from work not only means that I’m finally relieved from the stress of the day past, but it also meant that I have  to get ready for the day ahead.  Now, because I travel up to an hour and a half a day, listening to music is always the best way to wind down. However, I find that sometimes, music can cause me to get tired and drift off, and after a long bus and train ride, it’s easy to get dreary from staring at the world go by through a window. What I need is something that still works my brain down but at the same time relaxes my body and not put me on edge. Podcasts and radio are a great way for you to engage your mind and expand your growth in all aspects. I like entertaining podcasts like The Fighter and the Kid, Tiger Belly and The Joe Rogan Experience, purely because I find the main talking points interesting and the delivery is always entertaining. As well as this, I like to finish the afternoon with a walk of some kind to get some blood flowing, so listening to podcasts after a long day,  during a run or a walk, or even just before bed, is great for me.

 

This leads me into my final point, sleeping early. If you’re a late worker and prefer to work into the night then this probably won’t be for you. But for me, this is pretty much where my day  ends. I know I’m a grandpa, but I found it important to prepare myself for the next day, which helped so much, especially when I was trying to get things done. In my head or on paper, I’d make a list of things to do the next day. Usually because I couldn’t be bothered writing it down, I’d make a mental note, but to avoid forgetting, I tried to at least use posted notes and get some sort of physical reminder. However, I found doing this made me become anxious and cause me to  over think about it so instead of fixating on tasks I would then  divert my attention elsewhere within the last half an hour before sleeping. I used to love watching tv shows before bed but I quickly realised it could get quite difficult trying to fall asleep after staring at a screen for an extended period of time. Instead I used breathing exercises, some slow music or a decent book, which are all great to get yourself into a good mood to get some rest.

 

But being bothered is always a problem, that’s why there’s a sneaky 5th point that I chose to grow into my day which ended up being the most important, and that is my mindset. Being able to let go of the day passed is important for you to take on the day ahead, so getting good sleep and doing so with a good mindset is important to tackle the next 24 hours. This doesn’t mean you have to be happy, rather to be focused and clear to what  inevitably comes next.

 

I took some time off to do my own kind of research. I went  through uni and to be honest the only thing that I found to be a common lesson in each and every class was that despite what you think might be right, there will always be at least one person who disagrees. So, with that in mind,  I decided to stop preaching and actually put  this social and political science degree that many people discredit, to good use. I had a goal, which was the find out whether or not people change whilst also trying to figure out  why we act the way we act. I decided to take three months and I decided to focus my understanding on me.

 

This is no lie. No bullshit, I studied myself, like a typical narcissistic douche. But to be clear and to be completely honest, I don’t think much of myself. 21 years has gone so fast and in my existence I felt thoroughly disappointed at how my life ended up. Graduated and supposedly educated I started to really criticise what it really meant to be Nickin Alexander. Despite my lack of “success” in most aspects of my life I figured out quickly that a lack of motivation and a whole lot of discouragement from external voices was probably the reason why I felt as though I was constantly digging myself a grave that required more and more effort to climb out of. I know it seems self deprecating but it’s the objective truth. Being critical is important, especially in regards to yourself. I didn’t find much to be genuinely proud of.

 

But through all the self analysis, I could safely assume that the one positive thing that I was responsible for, was this.

 

Regardless of  what many of you may think, Guru Nickin actually did have  a profound effect on a lot of different people’s lives. Despite all the punctuation and spelling mistakes.  I guess what I was saying and what I was writing was actually relatable. But I think the reason why I changed my mind and decided to put on the breaks was because I was never really confident in what I was doing nor was I happy with how it was all going. I guess like many other things I had focused on, I became discouraged because of my own self-consciousness and lack of drive.But now being what I would now consider being between a rock and a hard place, I think it’s time to just say “fuck it”.

 

Although the potential I once exhibited might be still lingering around somewhere in this ruggedly handsome face and chiseled body, it won’t work without motivation and hard work. Both of which I am lacking. So I decided to do what many lazy young men choose not to. And that’s embrace the uncomfortable. It’s time to break out of the rut, and realise that the world doesn’t need anymore hippie wandering lefties, or pig headed rightists. It doesn’t need anymore good looking muscled fitness freaks nor does it need any more obese loud mouths pretending like something isn’t wrong with them.

 

It is time, to quote a certain Gotham Police Detective,  for the world to truly accept the hero it doesn’t deserve but the one it truly and so desperately needs. And the world needs a Guru, not one that preaches a faith or spirituality but one that accepts the world for what it is. A populated jungle with strange wildlife and an even stranger appetite for fighting the strong and chewing and spitting out the weak. I lived with the idea that smart people are the ones with degrees and education. No. that doesn’t matter, you know why? Because I spent three years at a university and I came across more dumbasses than 20 years of living in Western Sydney. That might be a blow to some but it’s the reality for all of us.
It’s time to stick that middle finger up and just not give two shits, because this is probably gonna be rock bottom, so theres nowhere else but up. The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows, it’s a very mean and nasty place. So for the sake of all that is shit in the world, I think I’ll continue to do this so long that it keeps on being a sanctuary for those who need it. Those who feel little in a big world, and those who just want to feel like they can read something without feeling dumb or out of place. I finally found a place where I could let my voice be heard, a place where I felt like I achieved something, and it was right here all along.

2016 was a year of great controversy. The western world was thrown into a myriad of unlikely and unsettling circumstances that were, as of not long ago, deemed impossible. The world of politics was thrown in the air as Trump became president and even in our own country of Australia, Pauline Hanson won the state of Queensland. In the industry of the arts, an Egyptian Muslim presenter inspired young ethnic Australians to pursue their dreams and aspirations as he accepted a Logie in front of a visibly scared nation and again in that wild jungle we call Hollywood, two prominent actors started a movement that triggered many people to boycotting one of the most prestigious award ceremony’s in the world. Sufficed to say that Will and Jada Pinkett Smith had every right to make that choice as a form of frustration but it hasn’t been the first time that diversity has been a problem that artists all around the world face. Last year the world sighed as we saw very little representation and appreciation for those of colour and their talents. But now and arguably so, the recent arrival of President Trump, and the divided America that now exists as a result of his win, liberal artists all over the world are now working harder to represent the importance of diversity on the screen.

 

The result was a string of amazing movies that showcased the talents and hard work of gifted directors, actors and actresses as well as belief in the cause from production companies and audiences. No doubt the best film of the past year was Moonlight, a story that followed the life of a young black man in three episodes of being a child, teenager and an adult. Not only bringing to light various concerns and themes that affect young black men and women in America, Moonlight showcased the skills of Director Barry Jenkins, creating a well constructed film that was severely unspoken of to many, until award season.

 

With seven ethnically diverse and non white actors and actresses all nominated in the big four categories, its hard to say that the academy and the world haven’t learned to appreciate the characters that non white artists portray every year. That or this year was an amazingly fortunate year for diversity as whole and by some universe like power; all these films were released the year that someone as divisive as Donald Trump came into power, perhaps as a sign from the universe itself.

 

Appreciation and acceptance were all shown to be what artists are about in the recent year, with the now infamous Best Picture Blunder giving light to how much has changed in modern America as the artists of the world are showing no bitterness in losing to another great film, even if that means that a moment that was given to them, is now savagely and embarrassingly taken away for another group of artists. Gracious in defeat, the producers of La La Land are the living embodiment that recognition isn’t everything unless you’ve set out to mean something by what you have created. That understanding the necessity to understand talent and reward such talent is what is most important, regardless of the colour ones skin or what divine power they worship (Shout out to Mahershala Ali for being the first Muslim Actor to win an Oscar).

 

 

AS producers and creators of art in all forms, one can sympathise with the idea that representation and equal representation amongst all is something that goes hand in hand with being fair. Since its inception, the idea of culturally diverse entertainers and creators having an equal say in what is produced is something that most can say is a positive thing. But the act of doing so is often smothered by excuses that not only misrepresent our overall intent but also slow down the process of recognising artists of all backgrounds. I’m sure you and I would agree that as a community of artists, the world needs more stories to be told and shared, and now with the age of technology so engrained in our way of life, it is hard to ignore the real injustices of the modern day artist. And so the 2017 Oscars proved that that path forward has become not only more visible but much more brighter as well.

 

The main theme that we can learn from this year is that no matter what the case, art is not only the expression of the individual but it is also a representation of the masses. Like many that relate to the story of Lion, Moonlight and Fences, many more relate to the story of La La Land and Manchester by the Sea. The characters and worlds they inhabit in someway shape or form are a living reminder that we, as audience members, are some how not far from the stories we love. And that no matter how little you are, by creating something, somewhere out in the vastly difficult world we live in, is an audience that can share in your story.

I was watching back on some old rugby league matches the other day, a hobby that I’ve developed over my time off from uni and work, and really enjoyed the grittiness of old school tough blokes and the amount of physicality their body endures over the course of a match. Its really quite amazing to watch, the extent of exertion to which a person is willing to put their bodies through in order to win or compete with another human being, it really is the closest thing we will ever come to witnessing the ancient times of Spartan warriors and Gladiators in the coliseum.

 

Having watched young athletes my whole life, I know how serious an injury can get. Even the smallest of limbs  can be quite gruesome and agonising when injured and has since taught me the importance of making sure your body is prepared when putting it to the test.

Recently however, the amount of trauma caused to ones head is something that gets called into question. At first, and as a former athlete and current lover of all contact sport, you really don’t think too much of the actual trauma and seriousness of any head injury. I mean  if you’re not bleeding or decapitated then there really shouldn’t be a problem right?

Most of you now, are probably thinking of how stupid that sounds, I mean some of the most violent and lethal threats to the human body are all injuries of the internal and are somewhat unseen, but for many contact athletes, the injury to your internal organs are somewhat out of sight and subsequently out of mind.

This is partly because a lot of these guys and gals survive off the income they earn through their respected sports and, as we all know, have no other choice but to keep on pushing through, just to make a living.

I mean look at guys like Muhammad Ali, the greatest boxer of all time, and for a large portion of his life suffered Parkinson’s disease, many people of which associate it with his years of getting punched in the head.

For some, the long-term affects are life changing and for others its a minor side effect that they shrug off and get used to. The point is though, that the potential problems that all of these athletes face  are now or have had a significant impact on their own lives.

 

There’s this animation I found on twitter, it shows an accurate representation of what happens to your brain whenever you get concussed or suffer a heavy knock to the head. Your skull acts as a helmet because the brain itself is quite delicate, so seeing your brain literally shake from the impact of getting hit that hard and becoming concussed is actually quite scary.

 

Looking back on watching live rugby matches and the difference between that and watching something on T.V, you can actually have a real understanding of how detached we all are to the athletes and what their bodies go through. You see when you’re there, on the sideline or in the crowd, watching bodies collide in such a heavy fashion time after time, and quite possibly the same people getting knocked over and over, it is only then, that you realise the full extent to which these athletes exert themselves and their bodies.

None of it is actually healthy, and yet they do it anyway.

Before I watched any kind of professional fighting, I distanced myself from the contact sporting world and just viewed it as a sport like any other, partly because I myself had stopped competing. But its not until you see a guy or girl go into a ring or cage and watch as they try to dismantle another person while getting punched and twisted themselves, do you actually realise the seriousness of this problem.

 

 

So what happens when someone suffers a head injury? Well, as I just learned very recently from one of my favourite podcasts “The Fighter and The Kid”, a person’s endocrine system could really take some damage. Now for those of you who don’t know, your endocrine system is basically the collection of glands that produce the hormones that regulate things like your metabolism, your growth and development, tissue function, YOUR SEXUAL FUNCTION, sleep, mood and a bunch of other things as well. So basically your head gets messed up, as does the rest of your body and way of life as well. Even your serotonin levels, THE THING THAT’S RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR HAPPINESS, gets whacked out of shape and could severely alter your perception of life.

 

Now if that doesn’t scare you enough, think about how crappy you feel afterwards as well.   A myriad of mental health illnesses start to creep in as a result and a common diagnosis of depression is often identified from the shifts in your body.

Imagine that for a second, after all that physical torment and stress on your body, you undergo intense mental torture as well.

 

Now, I’m not saying that we should stop fighting or any contact sport at all. But bear this all in mind, feel for the people involved and really understand what each and every individual goes through when they choose to step onto a field and into a cage or ring and the consequences of their choice just for your entertainment. Remember the sacrifice and appreciate what these real life warriors go through day in and day out, week after week for years and years. Because unlike the rest of us, they may not be living the most fulfilling life that you or I may get the chance to lead.

Christmas is great. But I think the best part of December is looking back on the past year and enjoying being with family and friends towards the end of it all. For me the last year has really been…

Source: Like a Box of Chocolates

Christmas is great. But I think the best part of December is looking back on the past year and enjoying being with family and friends towards the end of it all. For me the last year has really been a giant reflection of who I am as a person. They say that your early twenties is a time for you to truly understand and come into who you are for the rest of your life. It’s a major growing period in becoming an individual but I think for me at least, it’s a time where I could understand how much of a reflection I am of the people around me, especially those I call my family.

 

Not just in my character, but I think it was the first time I actually was able to see the physical resemblance between my family and I. I don’t get to see my brother that often, he lives in Melbourne so he comes down every once in a while. But from sharing a bathroom and now living in two different states, it’s a lot easier to see how much we look alike now more than ever.

 

We’re seven years apart, so we’ve always seemed to be physically different from an early age. He went through his awkward teen years when I was still a cute brown cub and he was a fully-grown bear when I looked like a small awkward monkey. We never really matched up.

To be honest, if I shaved and he shaved we probably wouldn’t look as alike as you might think, but when we grow our beautiful, black, mane-like beards the resemblance starts to take place. Something we both did this year.

I know this all seems really really stupid to say, and it is… but for me it was the first time I realised that I was more than just one person. I was somewhat like a collection of all these characteristics and attributes that I picked up along a path that has taken 21 years to walk so far. I even noticed the same attributes that my dog and I share. I mean we’re both big brown, lovable idiots who love eating and rubbing our heads with a look of adorable confusion.

 

I think this is what made me be thankful more than anything. This last year was tough, to say the least. And I know this isn’t a New Years post, but looking back on everything, I cant say that anything this year was a piece of cake, nor can I say that I look forward to anything in the future. I mean there is still so much that I want to do but I also know the hardships that I have to face, some of which I have been in a constant struggle with for the last 5-6 months.

 

But things fade and time moves on, but I will always remember the fractured mirror that is our lives and personalities, how each little thing has shaped you and probably me in a very big way. I don’t know how grateful I am to see that now, because honestly I don’t know how it will all turn out. I could end up being extremely bitter, God knows my love life is a prime example that has caused me to be so in the past, so I would not be surprised if I was to become so. Or hopefully   I can move away from that and grow into something much more positive.

The future hasn’t looked more inviting and unclear. For the first time, for myself and for others, I don’t know what’s in store. I don’t even know if I like it or not.

 

Forest Gump said that Life is like a box of chocolates; you never know what you’re going to get. And I guess that’s the only answer I have. I know what I am made of, and now I know for sure that whatever gave me that gift of knowing, whatever cleared my eyes to see what I was, I think that’s what I have to be most grateful for. But whatever comes forward along the path, I think that’s something I’ll only find when I walk up and stare it directly in the eye, good or bad.

I watch a lot of sport. Like a lot. I love how athletes commit themselves to something that has no real longevity, after all an athlete’s career, for most  of them anyway, is a short one. It’s probably why I get invested in individual players more than teams or franchises. You see, a team can stand the testimony of time. It has a history and an organisation, under the correct construction, can live a very long life. Athletes cannot. In the grand scheme of things their time in any sport is just a spec on the development of the game as a whole. That’s why we have greats and hall of famers, these are the people who made a significant impact, becoming something that will never be forgotten.

 

 

Rarely though, do you ever get to see an athlete become vulnerable and really show how their mentality is affected by how they compete. Being really into the fight game, and since the massive rise in popularity with the UFC, a fighter’s physical and mental health is now being of more concern than ever. I mean in reality, no single person can walk in or out of the fight game, engage in that much physical trauma and not have any repercussions to any extent afterwards. It’s a tough life, and it’s dangerous to lead. I think that’s why they are so respected, and why their impact is so valued.

 

One of the greatest UFC fighters of all time, and still a massive draw to this day is former light heavyweight Champion, Jon ‘Bones’ Jones. A true athlete, Jones was the youngest ever UFC champion and was apart of many memorable matches in his active years. Still a fighter to this day, the only thing that tarnishes his mark on the game is his life outside of the octagon. Partying, drugs and an unfortunate hit and run incident derailed his great career and now, under a year long ban, sits on the sidelines as he watches countless other fighters compete and fight another man that holds his belt.

 

In a podcast with Joe Rogan, Jones explained what was going through his head through all of this, the regret he felt and the processes he underwent to still maintain his championship run whilst also being in the middle of a very messy lifestyle.

Now we all know that discipline and hard work are all the determining factors when striving for greatness in any aspect of life, but I was more surprised to find out that a week before his fight with Alexander Gustafsson, one of the toughest and most memorable fights in UFC history, he was out partying. This was a fight he had won, by the way.

 

It was interesting to hear how his lifestyle fit with his fighting, and to some was a testimony to how great he was, to others exemplified a true waste of talent. The main thing that stuck more than anything was how good he would’ve been if he kept the discipline, if he stuck to his schedule and concentrated on the fight ahead instead of getting smashed and having a good time.

 

Jones’ logic however was something that shows true vulnerability even in one of the most elite athletes in the fight game.

He said that if he had ended up losing that fight, he could blame it on the partying and pardon himself for not winning at all. He had created a safety net.

 

No matter what you say, this is probably one of the saddest things people can do to themselves. To throw themselves into a bad situation, to escape all the pressure and the commitment of being apart of something so huge and to create something that can put a relief on it all, is truly one of the most unfortunate things any person, not just athlete, can do.

 

We create these safety measures to keep out the demons, to make sure that we’re ok with ourselves. And yes, it can work…but when you imagine yourself in that situation, with that much pressure, that safety net is the only thing that keeps your sanity, and at times is the only reason many great people cling onto their worlds without losing touch of who they are.

 

IN Jones’ case, it was bad way of dealing with a tough situation, and is in no way inexcusable. But realising that even the most gifted people in this world are vulnerable to pressure, is a way we can truly empathise with them and come the conclusion that we are all, in all aspects of life,  human.

Once in a while I express a little about myself in these posts that help push a message or a theme. It’s a valuable component of writing and as a writer it allows myself and many of you who read this, a way to connect. I’ve always been vocal in the idea that our past is what makes up who we are and who we are to become, and without it we are no more better than who we were yesterday. That is the point of growing, essentially becoming a better version of ourselves for tomorrow.

I think that’s why depression and mental health is something I touch on regularly. Not only is it a great way to relate to a lot of people out there who may be suffering in any way shape or form, but its also a way for me to get my story out there, in little snippets, to try and understand myself and what I was better.

I think that’s why I love doing this so much, its more than an educative piece others can draw from, it’s an outlet for me to learn and grow and something that is now becoming a massive part of my very existence.

Once in a while though, you question your very motives for doing something like this. Asking yourself the most pivotal questions is vital when dealing with the truth in any circumstance. And despite your best efforts, trying to focus on the good becomes hard. You see it was not too long ago that I was labelled as being a disappointment, from being an exceptional student to falling into a pit of bad habits and decisions, my life turned downwards because of a handful of unfortunate circumstances. I failed to really embrace myself and instead chose to make myself into something that was far from where my path was taking me.

Destiny had a plan, and I did everything I could to walk away from it. It wasn’t until April of 2014 that I truly realised the dark pit I was trapped in, I was diagnosed with depression and social anxiety.

I may have spoken about this before but coming completely clean is probably for the best right now, I mean it seems fitting since it is now the time of year were we live in a month that focuses on male health.

I found out quickly that I had been suffering depression for nearly two years, that the person that I was in my last two years of high school wasn’t really me. It was a smiling mask that hid a very sad and troubled young man. I couldn’t sleep properly and had no self-esteem. I had a very unhealthy obsession with my body and zero motivation in any form of my studies. But besides that there was no longer any belief in myself, somehow, someway I had lost all of that.

To this day I don’t know what it was that caused it, nor do I know when exactly it started, all I know was that I overcame it, then fell into it again not long ago, beat it again, then recently fell back into my old ways of self-doubt and sadness.

My life hadn’t turned out the way I wanted it to, it didn’t even come close…every time I thought I was going into something great, I slipped and fell into another pit of sorrow and darkness. I remember the first time I did, I grew a beard and smiled harder, I wanted to be bigger, faster and stronger. I wanted to make sure that I was never to be hurt again. Of course I was in for a surprise.

The second time around, I found it hard to visualise myself as being angry any longer, it had become exhausting, so instead I wanted to be a positive light in the world, a ray of sunshine that others could nap and enjoy the warmth of.

Now my only reason for getting through it is simple. I have to. It’s necessary. Because regardless of how excellent you are, no matter how much of a good person you have become, bad things will always happen. That’s life.

I wanted this to be a place where people can learn and grow. People can escape their hustle and bustle of their lives and really enjoy reading something from some guy, a self proclaimed guru, who just wants to be happy. But truthfully, being real is what’s most important, being honest is a tribute to character and having a good heart trumps all the bad that comes with life.

I thought now would be a great time to really share my issues, the month of November has become a testimony to men sharing their experiences and bringing awareness to all male health problems, so why not share with everyone my own experiences and what I have learnt.

The truth is, despite all the self-perseverance and determination, all I ever wanted was someone to put their arm around me and ask me if I was ok. And that didn’t always happen. To no ones fault, the people around me mistook my smile for being true and couldn’t see the sadness that I felt. But now they know, and that’s the best thing about awareness… letting people know that its ok, and that everything will be all right in the end.

Friendship and love got me through a large part of my darker times, sitting in front of a bunch of my friends performing a dance at my 21^st was the focal point of my realisation that you can find courage, compassion, kindness, beauty and help, all around the corner. All you have to do is look, and all you have to do is ask. The world has nasty way of bringing you down but an even better way of showing you the good; all you have to do is look.

So today, tomorrow, next week and next year, bring in the good…forget those who have forgotten you, because you deserve better. And never forget the people who were there for you and make sure you keep them by your side. Because enjoying that, is what gets you through it all. That is what helps you climb out of that deep, dark pit.

I don’t know how many of you have seen Forrest Gump, and if you haven’t then you most definitely need to watch it on the ASAP because it is a classic. Apart from being one of the greatest movies of all time, it has a mass of take home messages that hit you right in the feels.

Forrest loved to run, and the movie spawned one of the most iconic and most recited quotes of all time, “Run Forest, Run”.

To this day, the general population will know the movie just based on that quote alone and the major scenes that go with it. One of which was when he decided to run across the country for three years, only stopping to sleep, eat and go to the bathroom.

 

Amongst it all, the background characters all asked the same question, they asked him why he was doing it, and he simply answered by saying that it was because he wanted to.

 

You see no one could quite fathom the concept of a man running across the country with barely any rest for no particular reason at all.

Besides the fact that he just wanted to.

 

I’ve spoken about making a decision based on your own want and desire to do so, but I think this time its more about keeping on going and following through with a decision because its what you’ve committed yourself to doing.

When I started writing, I didn’t have any intention to make it a weekly thing. Nor did I think it’d ever blow up at all. I had hope that it would help people get through anything in life, maybe inspire a couple of lost souls here and there. I was surprised, because it did exactly that. Not a massive crowd of people, but every now and then someone would message me, tell me how I made their lives a little better, how I was doing a great job and should keep it up.

 

I’m notoriously known for losing out on a lot of different things. 7 years of playing soccer and even longer playing a variety of different sports, I never won a final or earned a medal. It never really bothered me, some people win and some people just don’t. I never made it an excuse for my work ethic, and just because you win something, don’t mean that that something would ever make you great.

Look at Nathan Hindmarsh, one of the greatest forwards in NRL history, State of Origin Representative, Australian International player and a Parramatta Eels legend. But never laid his hands on a premiership victory, although coming close twice.

Granted, the fact that he has never won a grand final is the butt of every joke at his new job on the ‘Monday Night with Matty Johns‘ Show on FOX, no one will ever deny his greatness as his time as a player.

 

 

My point is that winning or having an uplifting experience like that, should not be the sole reason to do anything, if it is…then you’ve already lost. It shouldn’t ever be the only reason for success and it should never, ever be the reason for keeping true to your passion. Instead to keep on running,should be enough to keep you going because at the end of the day,  you are you’re own fuel.

 

No matter how many times you lose a grand final, no matter how many times you get questioned for whatever you’re doing and no matter how often people laugh and point out your shitty grammar skills instead of focusing on your overall message which is deeply inspiring and incredibly life altering, doing something because you love it, or just because you want to, that is what matters the most.

 

Forest Gump taught me to keep on running, regardless of what was ahead, and to stop and only stop when I felt like it was necessary. You may have lost a couple of battles, but when you learn so much, and help even just one person, it doesn’t seem all that bad at the finish line.

And thats all I have to say about that.

I think nostalgia is one of the greatest gifts anyone can receive. For a brief moment, one can really feel the effects of a past experience that has the potential to change their life, for the better or the worse. You never really appreciate the little throwbacks in your life because it usually leads to either a pit of unexplainable emotion or twinging pain of regret.

 

Moments like these are the reason most people live in the past. Its just easier, especially when life gets difficult, we tend to always throw ourselves back to whatever feels comfortable, especially if it was a really sweet time in our lives. I think that’s why it’s called living in the past. We try to “escape” our present by going back in time and reliving something that was quite probably the most beautiful thing to have happened to you. But regardless of how nice it is to sit and reminisce, you can never truly escape whatever it is that’s hitting you at that moment in time.

 

I feel like in the past, living through memories has prevented me from moving forward. There will always be specific things that lead your mind astray….a gift, a photo, a place, a person. Even something as simple as a scent of a perfume or the way something sounds can pull you into a memory you once treasured or held close. And it’s not like these things happen when you want them to either. Sometimes at the worst of times you are reminded of things that once would’ve made any of those situations better. The thing is, whether we want to admit it or not, reminiscing about the past is never going to truly get you through the present. Not on its own anyway.

 

Our present is made up of a series of decisions that we ourselves have made. The old saying that the only person to blame is yourself is somewhat true. I mean we can never really know the consequences of any decision unless we make it, but despite that they are still our decisions. The result is either a sense of gratitude to your past self, or an overwhelming sense of regret.

Without both of which we can never really learn from whatever has happened, and make decisions based on that in the future… in other words, we can never really continue to grow.

 

I think the main reason why I live in the past more and more, is not just because whatever is going on right now is tough, but more because the past is a reminder of what could have been. In some fantasyland I think I was hoping that somehow and someway I was going to be able to grasp whatever it is that once made me happy . However true that may have been, its not what’s going to make me happy now. And that’s why I think nostalgia is so great.

 

Taking in the best memories of what has happened teaches you to appreciate every good moment that is yet to come. It makes you understand that the road has rough patches, but also some very pretty good spots as well…a whole lot of ups to go with the downs, and that’s what should get you through it all.

 

 

Living in the past should be reserved to when we’re on our deathbed. It is there where we can truly be happy, because there isn’t much more else to be done. But when you are where you are, right now, making sure that no good moment isn’t cherished and no hard obstacle is not yet conquered is a good enough reason to never really let the past get a hold of who you are.