I hate growing up. And for two years, since i turned 18, I have not looked forward to my birthday. Its kinda sad that we get older and older and all that we have left is limited time.  I was actually not looking forward to turning 20 at all. I had to say goodbye to my teens, to all the memories I had growing up throughout high school and the beginning of uni. And yea, 20 isn’t that old, but its scary, scary knowing that the rest of your life is coming as fast as the last 20 years went. I woke up  this morning slightly upset because part of me didn’t want me to acknowledge that it was all real. I had an idea of what I wanted to look like when I reached my twenties, and sufficed to say I don’t think I am what I pictured. That made me sad. The idea of being this big buff, intelligent, good looking guy was an idea, a picture that seemed so easy to attain. But instead it was the opposite. It was hard. It was hard because it was something that I wanted but not something that I am. And thats the beauty about growing up. I changed into something better. I became a person who knew who he was, and knew that ive yet to discover a million more things about myself. I was sad. But I became thankful. Thankful that I had great friends who messaged me this morning as soon as September the 3rd came around to write a heart felt text that actually made everything seem so much better. Thankful that these friends bought me beer and lunch and sat down to let me enjoy being 20, that posted photos and walked into class with a smile and a greeting, friends that messaged and posted me on my  Facebook and twitter, saying how much they missed me and how much they appreciated me with there revealing and embarrassing photos, offering me advice about what new shoes I had to get and calling me an idiot because I got ripped off by some guy offering to fix my phone.

My mum sang me happy birthday at 6 AM in the morning even though she knew I was half asleep and half annoyed at being woken up, but did it anyway just to let me know that she didn’t forget. My dad who shook my hand and patted me on the back, and drove me to the station just so I didn’t have to catch the bus on my birthday, and my brother. He bought me a phone armband so i can workout and listen to my sweet tunes at the same time, no fuss or hassle…i used to think he didn’t pay attention to me or my life, but that goes to show that despite me being the smart ass that i am, he still gives a shit. And so does everyone else. And i am so grateful.

Not long ago I thought I was alone. I was determined to lone wolf it, and just do me. Slowly I began to realise how much I missed people but I shunned it away because I wanted to, because I thought it was necessary for me to grow. But i was so wrong. Those people were the reason i got through the depression, the body image problems and all those bad nights and gruelling moments in the gym and i’m so grateful. I wish i could go back to that boy 10 years ago and tell him that everything was going to be alright. That you’ll meet some amazing people, maybe fall in love and experience things that you never thought you would, whether that be good or bad. I wish I could put my arm around him, tell him to shut up and  stop acting like a little shit and enjoy where life takes you for the next 10 years because they go by so quickly and there worth every moment that we hype them up to. But I cant and thats ok. Because the next 10 will be even better.

So, fuck being sad. Im happy that I got older. Because now I’m 20 bitch.

Being motivated to do something is always hard.  We are constantly enveloped by this mean blanket of society that tells us that we have to walk a certain way, talk a certain way and dress a certain way. Our friends and family all have expectations of us to do whats best for us and rarely do we sit down and figure out that its not what other people want us to do. Rather its what we were born to do.

I am a firm believer that everyone has a purpose. For most it may be to just be average. If you feel like thats what you were always supposed to do then thats ok. But  there will always be that group of people who try their best to full fill that purpose. It sucks that we live in a society were success, wealth and power are all judged by money and tangible goods. People forget that some of the most influential people in the world have this AND much more. The world doesn’t hand out things, and it does not give us everything that we want. And yet we convince ourselves that working hard and earning money is the key to being happy and successful. Success is in the mind. Happiness is in the heart. If you’re happy doing what you’re doing then you are successful. I pity people who think they are influential or powerful based on their wealth or their bank accounts. You may be a lawyer or a doctor or even a writer, that doesn’t make you powerful nor does it make you better than anyone else. But what the world gets in the end is a bunch of fake mannequins with a good job and money in their pocket.

I remember the expectations i had on myself, not from anyone else, and how i would beat myself up, day in and day out because i failed to reach all of them. Then i realised that it wasn’t my fault. I wasn’t meant to do any of the things i thought i was…i tried to walk down a crowded non-existent path that i was deluding myself with. I tried to be like the guy next to me.

The truth is that despite everything you do there will always be haters, there will always be someone who secretly wants to be you. Because when you choose to walk down the path that you want to, they realise that their path might not be so great. I see fake people left and right, with no character and a selfish, robotic mindset that may lead them to money. But the real people out there are the people who do what they want because they can and because they are willing to do it because they believe that thats their purpose. Don’t let society tell you what to do. Follow your own path, make your passion your profession and then maybe, success will chase you.

I didn’t grow up traditional or cultural. In my head, Kerela was nothing, it had no significance. Even my religion bore a weight on my shoulders, Orthodox Christianity is a disciplined branch that i had no desire to be apart of. I looked down on it all. All because I was subjected to the views of white australians and there stereotypical portrayals of people that i myself have had little encounters with. Being Indian in a Western Sydney  was tough, to say the least. I was small, i was scrawny and i was forced to reap the same negative views of a race of people that had become so distant to me. I began to dislike who i was and the colour of my skin. Growing up with white people can do that. And while most were kind and attempted to attain an image of colourful culture from me, i sat there rejecting it all. I never wanted to be Indian, i hated it. I wanted to be white.  And then not so long ago Rajiv Satayal reminded of how proud i should be.

I am a western mind in an eastern body. I was subjected to the greatest opportunities that a young boy could get. And i wasted it trying to reject who i was. We are not a small race. We make up majority of the  worlds population. We are some of the greatest minds and abled bodies on this planet. Granted our accents may not be desirable and some of us may not fully understand the western way of life, but does that truly matter…no.

Being Indian gives you perspective, you are part of a rich and diverse culture  that spans hundreds and thousands of years. Not only colour but raw feelings of love and compassion. We gave the world the Karma Sutra and Ghandi. Peace and Love, two of three things i and many others live their lives by. We consist of 29 states, each with their own separate traditions, religions and languages, a cultural mixing pot of diversity. Yet it is here were our fault lies.

Indians now distinguish themselves as the sub culture they are a part of. If you are Gujarati,you say you’re Gujarati, if you’re Tamil, you say you’re Tamil, and the most common of all, if you are Punjabi, YOU ARE Punjabi. We care too much about who we are individually that we forget that we are all the same. The same blood, the same bone of the same country. We walk the same walk and sing the same song. Others may look down on us with there pompous attitudes and pale complexions but we show them the way towards living a free life.

Too many times have i heard the common phrase that Indians don’t hate anyone else but each other. We collide and differ and blame each other because we are too weak minded to see that we are all essentially the same. In this era of a new generation of sons and daughters of migratory parents, we should assimilate and spread. Show the rest of the world how good we are, show them that we are proud people that can hold our own. Our passion goes far beyond cricket and lavish weddings. WE care. And we should show people that we aren’t as stupid, naive and soft as people think we are.  Stand up as one nation instead of the 29. Because its not worth it

My whole life i have been running away from my culture, trying to be someone that i’m not. Fuck that. I’m Indian. And thats it.

Feminism seem’s to  be the underlying factor in deciding whether a human being is a good person or not. Yet so many people decide to not identify themselves with feminism because of its brash, aggressive nature that has so stereotyped the typical feminist. For me, i never really understood it, and to be honest, i still kind of don’t. Despite that, with the  information that i do have, i feel and identify myself with being a feminist. I don’t hate women. I don’t want women to be unequal to men, and i don’t want women to be or feel inferior to men in any shape or form.

Before being educated, i, like many people out there thought that feminism was an extremist ideology that consisted of a bunch of man-hating women that wanted nothing but female domination. Although my experiences have somewhat supported this idea to some extent, i now know what feminism is. It is equality. That is it. Feminism is making sure that EVERYONE in the same position in the workforce is paid the same, regardless of gender, feminism is making sure that women are not overly and explicitly used or sexualised in the media or anywhere else, feminism is making sure that every woman gets a fair go and is not judged, thought of or treated in any inferior way shape of form. Feminism is equality. Feminism is not the exploitation of one gender for the greater good of the other, and it is definitely not the point of prioritising one gender over the other. And that goes for MEN AND WOMEN.

Too many times have i seen men say the most disgusting things about women, common phrases and ideologies like “go back to the kitchen” and “i’m a man so i should be in charge”, both of which linger in society of todays mentality.

And yet it seems to go both ways as well, men are now being treated to double standards that unfairly disadvantage them in all kinds of situations. For instance, it is a common fact that a girl is more likely to be telling the truth in a case than a boy, noticeable in school centralised situations. Not to mention the inequalities of the justice system, especially in regards to sexual assault and rape, women are favoured and sometimes given the upper hand when it comes to consensual sex, forcing men to be falsely accused of crimes they did not commit . It seems that despite our push for equality, everyone seems to end up suffering in what way or another, why? because of the ignorance of the people in society, again both men and women, whose actions seem to disadvantage and cruelly disable another person’s life in some shape or form.

Yes it sucks that there are inequalities in this world. How do you think i feel that my mother or future wife or future daughter will only earn 75% of that of a mans income. And its not just me, there are many men out there who feel the same way. But in equality, both sides need to work together, it just doesn’t work with one side screaming in your face and the other telling you to go back to the kitchen.  My whole life i’ve encountered the most sexist, misogynistic assholes on the planet, yet it was the  educators who explained to me the true meaning of feminism and why it is whats best for society. So why cant we be more like those types of people and teach people why equality is the right thing?

Because SEXISM is real, INEQUALITY is real, and one day its going to ruin us, unless we find a way to not only end the sexist tirade this world has underwent in its past, but to ensure that our children don’t end up with the same unethical and immoral values that tore us apart. We shouldn’t  just fight for feminism, we should also fight for an equal future.

Fitness seems to be the revolving trend in todays youth, and to think, not too long ago, being slightly overweight or lazy was actually ok. We were introduced to the image of the lazy man through characters like Homer Simpson. Yet today that same characteristic is criticised and even despised. In recent events, controversy has circulated around fat shaming and its negative affects on overweight people and their self esteem. Having never been over weight myself, it’s hard to imagine what kind of pressure society puts on the young person to loose weight, however i do understand the pressure of society when it wants you too look GOOD. Having lived a fairly healthy life throughout my childhood and teens, the image of the overweight body had nothing but a negative effect on me. I didnt want it. And i worked hard to stop that. It is true that we shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, but when the subject of someones health comes into question, the discussion of where the line needs to be drawn, in terms of fat shaming and educating, seems to be hard to evaluate.

Recently, fitness motivator, John Burke, went on a massive rant on how he views overweight people as disgusting. Having served in the army in Afghanistan and having an oddly admirable ability to scream his way into people doing the right thing by their bodies in keeping active, i have to say that i have a lot of respect for him and many others like him who encourage physical fitness and well being. However this particular video made me very confused. I don’t judge people by their looks, whether they be overweight, underweight or anything in between, and it sucks that we live in a  world in which people do. But calling the overweight disgusting seems a bit harsh. It is true that some people have legitimate health and medical issues that can cause obesity, which by the way  John agreed that that was an understandable excuse, but for the most part, being fat and lazy is something that a lot of people just are. Sometimes there are no excuses, and people just don’t want to be healthy or choose to not make a conscious effort to do so. Yes, it sucks that all people cant get into shape and look like they tore through a fitness magazine cover, and yes it sucks that people everyday choose to live unhealthy lives. But is it our place to judge them negatively or even positively. Rather than say “hey you’re a lazy shit” or “hey you’re beautiful the way you are” wouldn’t it be easier to just help these people. Wouldn’t it be easier to say, “hey this isn’t cool, you shouldn’t do this to yourself, and heres what you should do to fix it”. The fact of the matter is that being obese is not a good thing. It can lead to variety of health problem not only later on in life but also in younger people. Saying you’re beautiful the way you are when you severely overweight is not the right thing to do.It’s a lie.

People deserve the truth. They deserve to know that it doesn’t matter if you ripped to death or not, as long as you are healthy and happy thats all that matters.  Because fat shaming is shit, but lying to someones face is just as bad. We should, instead of destroying people for how they look or completely ignoring the way they are just to make them feel good, help people understand the concept of being healthy, that means both physically and mentally, encourage people to look after themselves, not to loose weight and get shredded, so that in the end they can be happy, because thats all that matters.