Dawn was going to break in about 10 minutes. The soft crash that somehow rang loud on the dark beach chimed in the first etchings of sunlight. Nothing peaked or lit up, but the sun was coming, a dim haze was starting to slowly coat the shore…a welcoming sight.

Noah had come here all the time. He drank beers and let the sun dry his salt watered body not 10 metres from where he was now. This was his happy place. This was where he loved and healed the most. And it was also the place where he knew he could find some solace…no matter how hard it got out there.

Out there both literally and figuratively. The beach was located in the Royal National Park of his home city. It was kilometres and kilometres of land, bush, forest, water, lakes and beaches. The latter of which is his favourite. He had tried his best to set his eyes on every nook and cranny with his family and friends, but there was always something new…even to the places he had visited before. Whether it be a nest of a new bird family, a crack and broken rock face from a previously impressive view…or the stray empty bottles of Gatorade that kids used to smoke pot on a Sunday afternoon.

His mother always reminded him that change wasn’t always good or beautiful….nor was it always appealing. But it was always something that happened. Something you must count on.

These words still had etched themselves into Noah’s ears. And as a result, they burnt every time he came here…everything was changing.

He usually caught the sunrise by himself….occasionally Rohan and Aish would come too but getting them out of bed in the morning was never easy and the groans throughout the drive didn’t seem to be an appealing way to start the day. Besides, it was always nice to find solace here rather than with company….which begs the question of why he brought this particular girl with him at all.

Kara caught Noah’s attention with 6 shots of vodka and a smile that told him to dare her to do more. A party that echoed through the backyard of a mutual friend, the floor littered with beer bottle caps and the air filled with Bollywood music, it seemed weird to think that one person in a crowd of faces would catch his eye. He twisted the cap of his first beer and chased it with three whiskey cokes. Soon the buzz filled his body with warmth before Rohan edged him to a table, three shots of whiskey dancing in their plastic cups against the overhead lights. Rohan asked if he was game…Noah looked at the crowd around him and asked for two more.

They went down like fire and his eyes unfocused as he stuck his tongue out in the air. The crowd erupted against the music, a yell for the boys and claps on the back stung a smile into Noah’s face.

It was game over for him….Till a voice breached the crowd…a challenge.

Kara was a little shorter, with a slim figure and edged out in full black. Her hair was tied back and her piercings added to the ferocity that shouted from her brown eyes.

Everyone whooped as the birthday girl’s cousin dug her stare into Noah and to the half-full bottle of Smirnoff that sat next to the JD that Noah had just necked. He smiled in response and watched her hand pick up 6 small glasses and return them to their table empty.

As the last slammed, and she wiped her lips, she winked and watched Noah’s ego swig one last shot of Whiskey to match her. The crowd cheered as they hi-fived, the game finally being over.

They turned each to their groups and laughed as the room became more and more unfocused. Noah knew he bit off more than he could chew and wrestled himself outside into the cold night air. His back and chest felt warm but his face went numb. He nudged himself against a brick wall, the grass under his legs slightly wet but still a welcome home over the cold concrete, not 5 metres from where he sat. The rest of the party continued as Noah plucked a cigarette from his jacket and lit it… looking up to the sky to try and focus his gaze and let a puff of smoke coat the air.

The next thing he knew, a shoulder nudged next to him.

Kara’s brown eyes smiled as she wrinkled her nose and patted his shoulder. She congratulated him on his stupidity and asked for a puff.

Somehow Noah ended up managed to spark a conversation. And somehow the sickness in his stomach disappeared. They laughed and smoked and watched the clouds clear for stars, and an hour later they were in the front yard of the house, hidden in a corner and out of sight, Kara was on top of Noah, the two no longer talking.

Making out was fun, making out drunk was even more so, they snickered as they let their fingertips dance amongst each other, and let the night slowly fade.

Before long they were caught… giggling and a few cheeky comments threw themselves off each other and the sheepish looks they gave caused for a few nudges and teasing smiles.

Noah struggled to an uber not long after, slowly saying bye, Rohan tugging him to the waiting car. He smiled at her as she winked back at him, slowly turning away.

Suddenly, and without thinking he freed himself from his best mates grasp and started calling her name. He watched her turn around and her confused smile.

“Do you wanna hang this week?”

She stopped…stared…and then smiled.

Noah asked for what days she was free and exchanged socials before telling her he’d be in touch. She smiled back and laughed as she dared him for a good opener…or risk being left on read.

Two days later they were strapped into a car on a freezing Tuesday morning, ready to watch the sunrise.

Noah preferred to do this on his own, but for some reason, a moment of a lust fuelled peace on a drunken night meant he’d for once swallow his own solitude and exchange it for some company.

Kara huffed, fog erupted in the air. 

She was cold, he was cold….it was cold. But as Noah turned to her face and watched her stare at the horizon in front of her, he chuckled. Beneath her red nose and barely visible under the scarf and beanie wrapped face was a small smile. He could barely make it out in the dim light…but he knew it was there.

She heard him and turned to her side…

“What,” she said, her face now quizzical.

“Nothing,” he replied quickly, chuckling.

“If you got a problem, say it to my face,” she teased

“And so what if I did…what are you gonna do about it,”

She stopped for a second and squinted her eyes…a smirk still straddled on her face.

She punched him in the shoulder, Noah swept-back winked and laughed as she struggled to keep hitting him. He caught her hands and brought her in close, he could feel her cold red nose as her smirk turned into a smile…just before pushing him away.

“Not that easy…”

He huffed and laughed as she turned back. 

The start of the days sun starting to form over the edge, Noah looked out as well.

He felt good about this…he needed the change, he needed the company…this was good. The time he spent here was always the same, and even though he loved it, and he took a risk coming here with someone strange, it seemed weirdly ok. Even if everything went badly, the date turned horrible or they didn’t end up being anything after today…there was always still the sun and the sand, and the picture-perfect portrait of a brand new day.

“So how often do you come out here,”

Her voice shook him back from his short trance. Noah turned to her, her eyes still fixed on where the sun would be.

“A couple times a year,” he replied, turning back as well. “ and Ever since we got locked inside because of COVID, I felt a little more guilty for not taking advantage of sunrises and sunsets,”

She hummed in agreement, eyes still fixed straight ahead.

“What about you, you ever do stuff like this?” he asked

She took her time to reply, as though having to break off from the view to answer.

“Yeah occasionally….there’s hill near my parent’s house, we used to go there,”

“We?”

She chuckled…she knew what Noah was asking. It was hard to ignore the rumours that flew around about the girl next to him. As soon as the next day came, the next day after that party, he was hit with friends and acquaintances telling him all about Kara and Jay.

Their tumultuous relationship and the heartbreak when they ended things…not just for them but for their families and friends as well.

They apparently were fighting, or that’s what Noah had heard, and in the last 6 months of their relationship, it had become on and off… more off than on to be honest.

Finally, Jay called it and Kara watched as three and a half years drove off in a Black Toyota ’86.

Jay had moved on after 6 months, he was seen on different dates with different girls around town, and his face perched up on Tinder and Bumble.

He was a good guy, everyone knew it…or they thought they knew it. Because that’s all they ever heard….and the weird thing was that despite the amicable breakup, Kara was the one that was criticised.

Her mates, who were all dating Jay’s friends, tried to get them back together, but to no avail. Eventually, Kara went back to her childhood friends and family, as her once a close group of girls started to slowly disappear.

Soon, Kara was painted as the villain…mostly because her circle became a mix of guys and girls who were all a little rougher around the edges. She started dating too…guys bragged about taking her out, kissing her at parties, dancing with her at clubs. Her reputation seemed to get a little more like her new crowd…rough.

She worked out and wore different clothes, she shed her softer look and started to get smashed on the weekends more. The sweet little girl seemed to have ridden off in that ’86 as well.

The words “slut” and “hoeing around” began to be thrown and even at the party with Noah, she got some shifty glances. But even then, she still kept quiet. As many close to her had said, She stopped caring and started smiling …something that Noah liked.

But he always thought that somehow someway, she’d feel down about the whole thing. Especially since it wasn’t going to get easier as well…. she was caught with Him after all.

“Jay and I would catch sunsets, and the girls never wanted to hang this early….now though my mates and I just usually chill at night…its the only time we have after work,”

Noah was slightly surprised that she mentioned them….it was like she read his mind.

“ What about you?”

Noah turned his eyes back to her…she was staring at him, curiosity slipping from her lips.

“What do you mean?” he replied…even though he knew exactly what she meant.

She raised her eyebrows with earnestness as Noah sheepishly smiled back.

“…well, I used to come out here with Rohan and Aish, but not as much lately…”

Kara laughed.

“What about all those girls?” she said pinching his arms

Noah chuckled with a fake embarrassment. It wasn’t uncommon for a girl he was on a date with to ask him such things, and often he found himself lying just to get them off his back…because more often has not it was out of nosiness and judgment.

But this time he didn’t have to lie…

“None… I don’t bring girls here…” he said

“…hmm,” Kara replied…she turned back to the horizon.

He could see her eyes as the light became heavier and heavier around them. The slight puffiness had gone away with the cold, but the lines under her eyes from the tired lingered.

Noah looked away, he slowly unravelled himself from his jacket. A twinge of annoyance began to burn in his chest. His forehead felt itchy and his arms felt hot.

She seemed to have noticed. “Did I hit a nerve?…”

It wasn’t that he hated that question…nor did he blame her, his reputation had been slightly infamous.

You see, Noah wasn’t a fuck-boy by the original sense of the word…but it was what was uttered by many for the last couple of years. It wasn’t the truth but somehow they managed to fit the label to him…rather than settling for what he actually was. A single guy that did single guy shit.

Dating, hooking up, and flirting was all he was guilty of…yet that word was tagged on him by people who he barely knew…or barely knew him.

He smirked. “Not at all…”

Even he wouldn’t believe what came out of his mouth. His ego clearly screamed its bruising. Deciding to be smart, Noah prepared for the onslaught of antagonising that came next.

His mind did a complete 180 in a second as a barrage of thoughts entered his mind….How stupid was he….to think that this girl would be different from any other. She was going to use him, after all, she knew his reputation, she was practically newly single and the worlds most talked-about man-whore had asked her on a date. Clearly, he was to be used to pass the time…and he was stupid enough not to just ask her to dinner as a normal person would. He just had to bring her here…the one place where he went for quiet.

An inner-contamination swept him…he shouldn’t have asked…he should’ve continued his flirting and made her question his intentions…that would’ve been better.

Stupid, stupid…so fucking stupid.

“Probably the first time you’ve told a girl the truth…”

Noah spun back into focus. He snapped to his right as more of the light shed onto her face….

“..aye?”

She chuckled. “Your face looked like you’re ready to spit fire or something….dont worry I believe you…”

Noah looked at her in confusion. “I wasn’t pissed or…”

“It’s ok… I know you’re not lying, why would you bring someone here anyway” she interrupted

“What do you mean,?”

“Well, it’s too nice and pretty to be a place where you bring girls to hook up with…that’s more like a parking lot of a Park or lake or something….it’s way too early to be bothered as well, I have a feeling you probably would’ve come with or without me,”

Noah, slightly taken back, smirked….he began to feel cold again.

“…and for the first 20 minutes of us being here, you didn’t say a word…you just watched the waves…”

“Wow…you have me all figured out don’t you?”

She laughed. “Not yet….im still trying to get my head around one thing”

“Yeah? And what’s that”

“If this is such a fortress of solitude for you…why the fuck am I here,”

Noah chuckled ….the sun was slightly poking out and he could see the slight pink hue dance among the clouds.

He felt a punch in his shoulder.

“Tell me or ill hurt you,” she declared.

He let her hit him three more times before grabbing her fists and pulling her close.

She laughed and yelled, he could smell the coffee on her breath and see the whiteness of her from her teeth. Her cold nose brushed his for a second, passing on the redness…he could feel its heat in his cheeks.

At the last second of struggle, she stopped and stared into his eyes. She was still smiling as she slowly relaxed.

He moved his lips closer and softly closed his eyes.

Waiting for her to come in that 10%…instead, he heard her whisper.

“Not that easy…”

Noah opened his eyes and bit his lower lip…he laughed as she shoved him away.

He noticed that he could almost fully see her face. In fact, he could pretty much make out everything around them now. The sand seemed white in its first glow, and the slow brushing of the breeze teased the tree’s around them. Noah looked around and then back to the horizon. The sun was coming.

He looked down to his knees as his eyes began to lose focus.

“….I don’t know,”

He could hear Kara turn to him, the soft swivel in her jacket loud amongst the quiet crash of waves.

“Maybe because I thought it would be a nice change to have at least some company…maybe because I thought you’d like it just as much as I did..”

“But I never said I liked..”

“You didn’t have to,” he interrupted. “I just…had a feeling”

Noah remembered their night together. Wrestling in the cold of that front yard. Laughing and locking lips. He remembered his eyes focusing from its drunken gaze, his hand on the small of her back…the other around her cheek. He remembered her eyes…a lighter brown that sparked in the darkness…like the sun on a brand new day.

He turned back to her, he could now see dawns light in her eyes.

Kara was staring at him, that cheeky smile still strapped on her face.

“Ok,”

“Good enough?” he replied

“I guess so….but if you’re gonna kiss me again you’re gonna figure out a way to earn it,”

…maybe the new day would bring him a new idea too, he thought to himself.

A moment of silence passed. The two of them let the world speak, their voices quietly in awe of the world their bodies exposed to. It worked to soothe but also let them breathe. Noah could hear her steady breath and his own heart align. It was like everything was now in sync…and in a moment the world seemed to burst with light.

The orange mixed to the edges of the blue and created a soft pink. It was fairy floss sky when the clouds were lit up. Slowly the sand started to gleam, the waves went from a dark grey to the blue they were always mean to be and the brushing sound of branches synchronised with the sound of the shore.

As Noah’s eyes adjusted to the new light, he let go of his arms and let his eyes glaze over from the cold. He began to stare. 

The waves looked more inviting than ever. He knew it was cold, but all the same, he wanted to be there.

Without speaking, or even thinking. Noah got up. He slowly removed his hood and slid off his jacket.

He slipped off his boots and stripped his socks.

“What are you doing,”. Kara’s brows had furrowed, a confused and strange smirk laughed out in her words.

Noah exhaled, fog still spilling from his mouth. He smiled and took off his jumper and shirt, the cold now making the hair on his chest perk up with goosebumps.

“If I get in..” He motioned to the water. “Then you have to kiss me,”

He couldn’t see her face, he instead looked back at the ocean…the sun seemed to warm his insides, making the dare a little more welcoming.

Seconds seemed to pass slowly…but Noah finally untied the drawstring to his trackies and edged his way forward. He didn’t need an answer, it was a gamble to look like an idiot…wet and cold and in his undies, but he knew she wouldn’t say no.

“Deal,”

He snapped his head back.

Her smirk was daring, her eyes now lit up by the sun, rubbing away the tiredness that once lived there.

That’s all he needed.

Noah started towards the water…his eyes stung in the breeze, and he could feel the chill of the ocean on his teeth, he slowed downs to a hop as he pulled off his tracks, his balance was tested as he managed them. He could feel the sand flick up to his calves and in between his toes, each step getting a little wetter until water and sand stuck to his legs.

Finally, the ice chill enveloped his ankles and his run slowed as each step made his body numb.

He slowly waded in, not thinking, still smiling, his knees and then his torso.

It didn’t hurt, but he could barely breathe. With one last inhale, he sunk his head and went under. His eyes closed as he lost feeling in each limb. Finally, his body went still. His hands found the sand bed as he pushed himself up.

A moment felt like a year…and his breath began to make his chest burst. He slowly opened his eyes, the saltwater blurring the dark blue world around him.

Finally, till he could take no more, he looked up to the light, he kicked once with what was left of the legs he could feel and breached the rocky surface.

Noah gasped for air and trudged back till his feet found sandy ground. He breathed heavily and panted as he tried his best to wipe the water from his eyes.

It took a second for Noah to get his bearings, but his eyes eventually adjusted as his head turned away from the blurry shore.

The horizon based was now in blue…the sun now peaking more than just its head.

There was no physical warmth…just the little spark that was lit in his eyes as he gazed out to no land but sea. Slowly he turned his back, the cold forcing more and more of his body to pant and suck air.

Not wanting to lose feeling any longer, he quickly paddled backed and kicked till the water dropped below his chest.

He could feel the breeze wrapping its cold arms around him as his arms stuck to his sides and his chin dug into his chest. He didn’t want to touch any other part of his body with his hands, the cold would’ve been way too much.

He managed to reach into his hair and risked his icy hands over his face as he wiped what saltwater he could. In the distance, he could see a jacketed figure rushing towards him.

Noah smiled sheepishly as Kara’s face seemed to be bathed in its own mirth. He laughed as she came closer, his jacket opened up in her arms. He rushed forward, the cold starting to feel a little less as they finally made it to each other, sliding into each other’s arms, Noah’s body now drying against the inside of his jacket.

She was laughing at him and his frigid body but immediately hugged him, selflessly trying to dry him off.

He couldn’t stop staring though, the suns light now coating her face…lighting up the sparks of brown in her eyes, her lips and nose still slightly red but seeming a lot warmer than he was.

She was saying something but he couldn’t hear….his heart was racing.

In a swift moment, he slipped his arms through the armholes of the jacket and wrapped them around her waist.

She didn’t seem to notice, her mouth still saying words he couldn’t hear…till finally, she stopped talking.

Her hands were on his chest, her nose brushing the small droplets that came off his…he could see every eyelash as slowly, with dawn’s Sun and its morning kiss blessing their faces, their lips met…