It’s interesting to see family after so long. It’s weird when you think that these people may not be constantly in our life, yet have this connection to you that lasts forever. You share in the pain, no matter the distance, in triumph no matter how little or small and you share blood, no matter how distant the relation could be. I think that’s why anyone feels sad when they all go. It’s a tough task, saying goodbye…its even worse when you know it’s for a long time.

The one thing that seems to stick is the life lessons family teaches you. It’s etched into your mind as you walk your life day by day. The world seems complicated but somehow with whatever your friends and family have given you, through stories of life experiences or their own perceptions of the world around them, things don’t seem so hard.

One of the greatest lies that anyone has told us how better off you are by yourself…that family and friendships don’t matter. No matter how long or short they may last, each relationship leaves its own mark on our lives. Unfortunately they’re more often negative, but you learn a very valuable lesson when you interact with impactful people.

I was always told to be a good person. It wasn’t a choice; it was a responsibility I learnt over and over again throughout my childhood. In Sunday school we listened to the parables of the Good Samaritan and the battle between David and Goliath. These were life lessons we had to oblige by, to help our fellow man, and to stand true to what is right. But the truth is that you have such a naive vision of the world when you’re taught life lessons through ancient scripture.

Nothing can prepare you for how fickle and cruel people are, because more often than not the big towering bully that casts fear into the hearts of many, wins.

Regardless I tried my best to stay true to what I thought was right. I am blessed with good people around me…but there are dark times where you watch old friends flirt with poisonous people…and there are other times where you lose them to “new” and “better” replacements for yourself. That is the world we live in.

It seems that now more than ever, the little man or woman cannot fight back unless they have an army following their every move and support their purpose. But in reality, the only thing that drives anyone to make a difference is self-conviction.
I had to believe that what I was doing was right, that trying my utmost to be a better person was the only way things didn’t get any shittier. That may be one day I could show all those “friends” I had lost because of their cruel dismissive nature, that my life was not going to be a complete waste.

I don’t know…maybe these thoughts cross my mind because I miss the feeling of innocence through those rose tinted glasses. The reality is that despite anything I do or say…there will always be someone who is selfish and negligent. And now more than ever, I’m starting to hold them less accountable. You can’t blame them for wanting something they think might be better. You can’t curse them because they wanted something that benefits them more. And more than anything You cant always hold people accountable for their actions. The truth is that they all get away with some form of injustice…but you can try and stay true yourself.

I used to play soccer for a small club in St Marys. At one point I was one of the only Indian’s that played in the comp. The keen eyes of my mother and father could not miss me from the sidelines as they watched each and every game. Rarely did I see any other brown boys and it was made apparent from the beginning. I don’t know how I missed it before, but there were so many instances where I was picked on by opposition players, for things I didn’t quite understand.

One time, I tackled this kid who had made a break through our defence. I managed to get the ball away quickly before he could take a shot at the goal.
I did my job.
His response, however, was not of anything fair or even competitive…instead, he decided to call me a dirty terrorist and told me that if I ever touched him again, I’d get beaten up.
I was shocked…or more accurately I didn’t know what to say…and even when I told the guys in charge of our team, who in turn told the opposite teams staff, I realised nothing actually got done. That kid got away with it…besides having to deal with a stern word or two, he got away with threatening me for doing my job.

I never forgot that day, and I’m glad I didn’t. I was 12…I was innocent, and more importantly, I didn’t deserve that. But it happened and I kept on playing…and playing well. I wanted for once, to be the better person, to not react and to make my parents watching on the sideline proud, by not succumbing to hate. I chose to forget and move on…but after all this time I catch myself wondering what would’ve happened if I just punched him straight in the fucking mouth.

And now I wonder that all the time. I see douchebags and stupidly stuck up idiots get away with everything. From using people for their own games in their own boredom, to bullying and intimidating anyone who they think they ’re superior to…the world is littered with people who just want to take advantage.

But self-conviction seems to be the only way I feel better about it. I know someday that karma will turn around and bite them in the arse…maybe not today or tomorrow but somewhere in the future. And although I may stay quiet and put my head down…my silence should not be mistaken for compliance, rather it is my understanding that my time on this planet, in this society, means I don’t do what they do.

That is the most important lesson family and friends have taught me. Not just culture, traditions or the importance of education, but to be a good person. That lesson is more important than blood or distance; it’s the reason why my grandparents, uncles, aunties, cousins, brothers, sisters and parents all matter so much.

When I look into the faces of my family, I don’t just see the same nose as mine…the same thick black hair or deep brown eyes…I see good people trying to do the best they can.

A face that reminds you that despite all the bad in the world, there is still loyalty, kindness, compassion and love, all of which gives you enough strength and self-conviction to deal with anything…even some racist kid from Western Sydney, who abused you for doing your job.