My grandfather named my dad after Alexander the great. Now coming from a traditional Christian Malayalee family, the name Alexander was somewhat uncommon. Most Christians from Kerala have names like Joseph, Mary, Thomas or John. I guess you could say Appachen was setting up dad to a high expectation and standard, which he seemed to have lived up to. His whole life he worked hard. From an early age he excelled in school and killed it in college, landing a top 3 spot in one of the most prestigious Engineering colleges in the country and working from the bottom up in a range of companies including Matel, the famous toy manufacturer in his time in Malaysia. Now my father works as the head of his own small business, manufacturing small, complicated components in a medium sized warehouse in the cold industrial area in Ingleburn. A business that has provided a job for almost everyone in our family, and is where I earn an income to this very day. It is safe to say that he lived up to his name. Even though the world may not know his face, dad figured out a way to carve his own path through difficulty and thrive in ways that he seldom gets credit for.

Now in some cases, in our culture, the father of the family’s first name gets passed onto his wife and children as their last name. For example, my uncle is named Sunny, so his children, Reubal and Thara’s full names are Reubal and Thara Sunny. Likewise, my brother and I inherited Alexander as our last names. Kevin became well renowned for his big mouth and even bigger presence, standing large and tall, no one could miss him. He followed dads path in the engineering world and now works in an office in Melbourne. I guess you could say that despite his limited understanding of communication, my brother truly became great in his own right. From a scrawny, thin teenager to a big, broad bearded man, he has quite strongly shown the world that anyone can make it.

 

Me on the other hand, not so much.

 

I struggled day in and day out doing the things that many Indian boys excelled at. I wasn’t typically interested in studies and even though I did exceptionally well I didn’t match to my brown peers. Instead I focused on other things like writing, sports, social issues and girls. Things that I felt I could excel in. And although I am very proud of the things I have done with not only my own physical, mental and emotional changes but also the affect of my actions through art, like this blog, I can’t help but feel that I have a long way to go to ever be considered great.

I intern at Diversity Arts Australia once a week, and have done so for the last 8-9 months. What started as a work placement for a subject in Uni, ended up being something I became incredibly passionate about. While I never truly excelled in academia, I still wished to think that my passion and energy for art and the lack of diversity in Australian art would resonate with someone with a similar background to me, thus becoming part of a large social change that needs to happen. Part of a my work involved helping out at a symposium this week called “Beyond Tick Boxes” which brought together artists, producers, organisations, policy makers and arts bodies from both within and outside of Western Sydney to discuss issues of cultural diversity and inclusion. Needles to say I was truly inspired by the commitment and passions shown and shared by not only the rest of the team at DARTs but also across all spectres.

Artists creating short films to emphasise the systematic racism within the industry, journalists and producers from massive corporations like the ABC and SBS  encouraging people of all walks of life to participate in communication with Australian society and a wide variety of academics, dedicating time and valuable resources in diagnosing problems that must be addressed in order for real change to happen.

Truthfully, I couldn’t but help feel like a small fish amongst seals, turtles, dolphins and whales in a very large ocean. It wasn’t until I listened to one citizen journalist by the name of Sunil Badami, did I truly understand the reason I chose to carve this path I was walking right now. Pursuing greatness should not be the goal, but doing your best is.

Excellence is not something the elite decide, rather it is what you define as your life work. Whether you like it or not, competition in the form of eager students or incredibly intelligent young brown people are not actually the threat to your own existence. Rather it is the doubt and lack of confidence you may have in yourself and your work that eats away at your own understanding of your own path.

My own path is one of physical and emotional hardships. From being beaten down by the biggest kid in the playground, to being the bigger man and letting go of cowards and little men who have little to no real respect. From struggling with mental health and depression, to showing nothing but positivity and light onto to dark situations that the everyday person may experience day in and day out. My world is that of struggle and battles. My way is the way of the warrior.

My time to myself has taught me to realise that despite what many would think, the fight to achieve excellence and to achieve greatness, is one that requires you to use every ounce of strength, brain’s, emotion and all the balls that you may or may not have to make it. So in my effort to share my story I have found that emphasising key ideas and themes in myself and then expressing them  was a way for me to realise any potential I have in this little life of mine.

 

Greatness is not shying away from the people, Greatness is being accepted by the people. To be a champion of society and to overcome any wars you face in your own existence. And that is what I choose to do.