Christmas is great. But I think the best part of December is looking back on the past year and enjoying being with family and friends towards the end of it all. For me the last year has really been a giant reflection of who I am as a person. They say that your early twenties is a time for you to truly understand and come into who you are for the rest of your life. It’s a major growing period in becoming an individual but I think for me at least, it’s a time where I could understand how much of a reflection I am of the people around me, especially those I call my family.

Not just in my character, but I think it was the first time I actually was able to see the physical resemblance between my family and I. I don’t get to see my brother that often, he lives in Melbourne so he comes down every once in a while. But from sharing a bathroom and now living in two different states, it’s a lot easier to see how much we look alike now more than ever.

We’re seven years apart, so we’ve always seemed to be physically different from an early age. He went through his awkward teen years when I was still a cute brown cub and he was a fully-grown bear when I looked like a small awkward monkey. We never really matched up.

To be honest, if I shaved and he shaved we probably wouldn’t look as alike as you might think, but when we grow our beautiful, black, mane-like beards the resemblance starts to take place. Something we both did this year.

I know this all seems really really stupid to say, and it is… but for me it was the first time I realised that I was more than just one person. I was somewhat like a collection of all these characteristics and attributes that I picked up along a path that has taken 21 years to walk so far. I even noticed the same attributes that my dog and I share. I mean we’re both big brown, lovable idiots who love eating and rubbing our heads with a look of adorable confusion.

I think this is what made me be thankful more than anything. This last year was tough, to say the least. And I know this isn’t a New Years post, but looking back on everything, I cant say that anything this year was a piece of cake, nor can I say that I look forward to anything in the future. I mean there is still so much that I want to do but I also know the hardships that I have to face, some of which I have been in a constant struggle with for the last 5-6 months.

But things fade and time moves on, but I will always remember the fractured mirror that is our lives and personalities, how each little thing has shaped you and probably me in a very big way. I don’t know how grateful I am to see that now, because honestly I don’t know how it will all turn out. I could end up being extremely bitter, God knows my love life is a prime example that has caused me to be so in the past, so I would not be surprised if I was to become so. Or hopefully   I can move away from that and grow into something much more positive.

The future hasn’t looked more inviting and unclear. For the first time, for myself and for others, I don’t know what’s in store. I don’t even know if I like it or not.

Forest Gump said that Life is like a box of chocolates; you never know what you’re going to get. And I guess that’s the only answer I have. I know what I am made of, and now I know for sure that whatever gave me that gift of knowing, whatever cleared my eyes to see what I was, I think that’s what I have to be most grateful for. But whatever comes forward along the path, I think that’s something I’ll only find when I walk up and stare it directly in the eye, good or bad.