Some things you leave behind and other things you take with you. The worst part about leaving behind he life you once led is that sometimes it haunts you. I’m away again, this time for two weddings in India. Some would call it a holiday were I can enjoy myself thoroughly and have a good time, and whilst I am enjoying the company of my family its hard to say that it is in fact a holiday. The stuff that I was supposed to have a break from still keeps me up and its gone past the point where I can say that the lack of sleep at night is from jet lag. The thing is no matter where you go, the things that are within you, all the emotions and thoughts that were sources of strength or made you sad still happen to be there. There is no escape and the sooner you realise that the sooner youll come to accept that sometimes going away and getting away from everything that makes you upset is not always going to fix the problem.

 

A lot of people would think that this is depressing as fuck. But this is life. You can smile and be happy, even more than you would at home but at the end of the day, facing what’s inside of you is going to always be harder than facing something face to face. The lies that people tell, and the mandatory status that you have to keep so that society remains content with you are always going to be there, the scariest part is not all that shit. It’s the fact that the trouble you felt hits you no matter what, like your own personal truck that comes at you whenever your mind wanders. And if your looking for advice on how to face it, simply put you actually cant. It’s all part of being human. Some have it more than others, sometimes much more and that, put bluntly, is plain bad luck.

 

He point is that you should learn to accept that life gets tough especially in our young years. We think that the key is to find ourselves, and while that is true, if the hurt that keeps on entering your life does so even when you choose to leave, that means that your doing it wrong. Whatever makes you happy you should treasure and nurture it, not shun it away because as soon as these moments come along, whether your away or at home those little things will keep your spirit up.

 

Because I am away I thought it would definitely be a time where I would be able to finally feel comfortable and not on edge, that I would continuously be surrounded by love, and while that is 100% the case, I also at times feel the loneliest ive ever felt. People tend to forget you so quickly and focus solely on their lives that you tend to forget yourself too. And that internal struggle then creeps in all over again. But being alone means that you have yourself to face and only yourself, which is the hardest but also the most rewarding, your ability to face all that makes you feel like shit and continuously fucks you up can mean that you can finally face it and give it the middle finger. Some things we leave there, other things we leave behind, its up to us to face it and make sure it doesn’t bring us down again.