We look around today and  see throughout society that the worlds expectations of each and every individual has somewhat changed. Now there is an abundance of pressure to be at the peak of every aspect of life possible. Emotionally, mentally, academically and of course physically. My whole life I lived by the philosophy that in this life you get one chance to either fuck it up or make the most out of it. What people failed to mention to me as a kid is that the world is a cruel place where bad things happen to good people and good things happen to shit people. They also managed to forget to mention that no matter how hard you try there will always be someone better than you, someone that will judge you and someone that will always put you down. It doesn’t matter if your Mother Teresa or Beyonce, people will always try and cut you down. The most i’ve ever experienced this is in the form of a physical expectation that i have watched tear down guys and girls for years. The whole concept of being healthy went out the window when the media shoved a perspective of triceps, biceps and abdominals down the throat of every young boy and girl in an effort to show off what was considered to be “manly” or “womanly”. Now body image problems have long since affected girls indefinitely, with the illnesses like bulimia and anorexia destroying young females self confidence across the globe. But what we miss in all the hype of trying to rid this problem in young girls, is the young boy. I grew up with body image problems I didn’t know I had. From a young age I was called skinny, ugly and awkward all due to genetic makeup that I couldn’t do anything about. I thought I was alone. So I made the most of it. As soon as I turned 17 I hit the gym and downed protein shakes. I ate up to 6 meals a day and gained 10 kgs in a matter of 6 months. Being an athlete i quickly adapted and easily picked up the know how when it came to bodybuilding but failed to recognise the pit I was digging myself into. I was being chipped away, it became an obsession, and when I turned 18 it had not stop. 5-6 days a week were spent in the gym for up to two hours, training a different body part everyday. It became my life.

It is here that one notices that the deeper you delve into this world, the uglier it can get. Soon I was in an environment  that consisted of  steroids, muscle dysmorphia and a lot of self judgement, which led me to realise one very important point. Guys suffer just as many body image issues as girls do. Yet going to school and interacting with girls proved the horrible theory that in some cases no one cares. That it doesn’t matter because “boys will be boys” and that we’ll just get over it. The fact of the matter is that we wont. It becomes the one determining factor that drives us to push ourselves to the extreme. To eat all those calories, to lift that much weight, and in some cases, inject that substance into our vein just so we can look good. Just so we can fit in. There are guys as we speak who are 90kg of muscle, who have worked hard for 4-5 years and are still unhappy with how they look. They still see themselves as being skinny or weak just because of what people have said to them in the past.

Now i’m not saying this affects every guy  that goes to the gym, rather im telling you what i have experienced not only in other people, but in myself. I continue to workout because I love it. But before now I did not love myself. I looked in the mirror everyday and didn’t liked what i saw. I chose to change. And as a result came to this realisation.

Depression, suicide and anxiety are all common amongst a wide range of gym junkies, and sure we cover it up with muscly physiques and a positive mindset, but the truth is that we may be suffering inside, piece by piece losing ourselves to something that should be helping us put ourselves together.